Vulnerability: A Phenomenological Inquiry into the Exposition of the Heart
In one's finite existence, each person has experienced weakness or a state of uneasiness with oneself. This uneasiness with oneself refers to something immanent within the consciousness of the person. This investigation is an attempt to understand the experience of revealing one's true being to another. Preliminarily, this essay will be a propaedeutic, or an opaque light, through which one can begin to grasp the phenomenon of vulnerability. The explication of vulnerability will not be descriptive psychology, but an essay unpacking the experience of vulnerability common to every conscious subject. Vulnerability, or from the Latin vulnus, denotes by its essence that one is wounded. Wounding is significant to understanding the essential nature of vulnerability because it illuminates the state of man. This state of vulnerability must be properly distinguished from the action of exposition. The former can be said to mean the proper mode of being in which the subject predominantly lives and acts within the world of experience. The latter is the substance of what this paper will be centered around. The action of vulnerability can be said to be the exposition or openness of the very core of one's being. To properly explicate this action, one must understand the investigation in terms of its aim. The goal of this investigation is to unravel the experience of vulnerability in its very essence. The way in which this will be done is by explaining the core of man, or rather, the dwelling place of vulnerability, and the interrelated steps to explicate the fundamental experience of vulnerability. Lastly, I will show how the healing of one's wounds is found through the affirmation of one's being.
The heart of man is the core and center of all experience. Within the study of pure philosophy, the heart is seldom given a primary function or a profound role within the constitution of subjective experience. By way of clarification, when the word “heart” is employed, the denotation can be said to be the deepest part of man in which all experience is immanent (not merely the physical organ). The core of man holds within it all domains of affective responses towards happiness and coordinates those responses. In saying that the heart of man is the core of all experience, I am not disregarding the functions of the intellect and will, but I am trying to unearth the phenomenon of vulnerability. In terms of value, feelings, whether that be a feeling of the body, a psychological feeling, or a spiritual feeling, are all nonetheless feelings. The word “feeling” is equivocal insofar as we can predicate it of various experiences whether they be profound or banal. “Feeling” is the word one uses to try to encapsulate one's response to values. Within the domain of the predicate feeling, we attach this word to many different experiences to try to encapsulate and evince the proper proportionality between our experience and our language. Although, most recognize that trying to encapsulate the highest values experienced such as profound love of God, or love of neighbor, is almost impossible. We can never do it justice by words comprehensively, but it still nonetheless dwells within the center.
It is no coincidence that the Holy Scriptures mention the heart over 800 times. [1] The feeling of a lack of wholeness within the human person is the lack of perfect unification and freedom of all one's parts. Be that spiritual or physical, man desires fulfillment, and this fulfillment comes only when the heart is set free (exposed and affirmed). I will espouse the view that the heart is where the deepest values reside. The values of love, happiness, freedom, vulnerability, joy, etc. Behind all enjoyment of anything, be that a delightful symphony or a moment of forgiveness, there is always something that one cannot put one's finger on, an ineffable feeling. This inability to ascribe the correct language to the value that one has experienced is indicative that one feels this enigmatic center has been touched. Admitting that I cannot empirically or comprehensively prove that this is the case, I will posit that the heart is the centerpiece of experience. This core is the locus of vulnerability, and the focal point of vulnerability. It is like the center of a circle, which radiates to every edge, and that focal point holds the circle together. In experience, one understands this deep feeling of longing for the wholeness of oneself. With the attempt to explain the heart as the center, this leads me to explain why vulnerability is so elusive to pin down. This inexplicable, ineffable, mysterious, yet experienced center is the dwelling place in which the person can choose to expose oneself or hide oneself.
Furthermore, vulnerability is the exposition of the core of one's being in which another can gaze upon the subject's lived experience, which is elucidated through interpersonal communication. Moving forward, I will designate the word “vulnerability” to denote the state in which one naturally lives in a daily state of affairs. I will then dovetail this with the action of vulnerability upon which this study is circling. The action of vulnerability (exposition) more accurately describes the definition of vulnerability stated above. This action of vulnerability happens when a subject harbors anything that is difficult to bring up from the heart to the lips. This bringing of something from the core of oneself, to the brim of oneself, to another is the action and essence of exposition. As one lives within the world of experience, one is psychologically wounded throughout one's progression of maturation in an infinite number of ways. [2] It happens that everyone has been wounded in some way and that the experience of woundedness is hidden within the dark caverns of the heart outside of the light of freedom. This burying and hiding of that which is wounding, painful, disturbing, and bears any evil is how one lives perpetually within the state of vulnerability. [3]
Additionally, when this state of vulnerability is broken in upon, exposition occurs. In terms of the I who is performing the act of exposition, one can do this in a multiplicity of diverse ways. Most essentially, this happens when there is an evocation of some object in front of consciousness. This evocation or presentation of something happens within the subject. For example, say when I was 5 years old, I experienced something traumatic that happened, and in that experience, one of the things I remember is the slamming of a door. After that experience has saturated into one's heart and helped form one's heart, every time he hears a door slam, the evocation of that memory is immediately present to his consciousness. Psychologically speaking this has made a sense impression upon the subject's heart and consciousness. It has disintegrated a wholeness that was priorly present, although this idea will be dealt with elsewhere. In other words, the subject thereby brings to the forefront of consciousness that which is difficult and painful to gaze upon or speak about. Within that example, the young man's state of being is now vulnerable, and the only way to mend the wound is through the act of exposition. Further, this is happening within the subject and not from outside. Therefore, the I must bring to the surface the things which are covered in the deep. This is most properly the act of exposing the heart, the bringing of something that is held within you that you cannot see, and finally illuminated and seen by you more fully. This action of bringing to the surface that which is hidden is a showing of yourself to yourself, whereby you can reflexively look upon yourself as an object of your own thought.
The action of vulnerability shows you who you are; it shows you how you have been formed and how you perceive the world because of it. This reflexive seeing of yourself in the third person is only a tool in which you can be more genuine and authentically you. The showing of yourself to yourself is synonymous with looking at your own heart's intricacies and idiosyncrasies. The action of vulnerability lays bare your inner spiritual condition; it shows you your identity or misplaced identity. The object that is brought to the forefront of consciousness (that is, in terms of the object of sight intramentally) is, in most cases, painful to behold. The pain we experience in beholding ourselves is because we have not been properly affirmed within our being. Exposition forces you to look at that which distorts your perspective so that you can become more of what you are. The heart speaks to you when it is most oppressed; it communicates its deepest longings, which are love, freedom, and wholeness.
Subsequently, we must understand the latter half of the definition of vulnerability, namely the interpersonal dimension of vulnerability. Essentially, the action of vulnerability is directed to oneself because the object is you, but accidentally it is directed to another, in which you expose yourself for them to see your core opened. To expose yourself to another I, you must be completely submissive to another I seeing you; it is absolute receptivity to another. The only way in which the exposition can be fruitful to the personality of man is if the other receives you as you and loves you as you. After this actualization of active receptivity, you thereby have transmitted your heart to another so that they can re-present it to you through the medium of language. This is when the whole experience of vulnerability is perfectly intimated. The other sees you, experiences empathy, and suffers with you. The other experiences you experiencing and then vicariously enters into your experience. The way in which the other depicts your heart to you is by affirmation of the primordial longings of your heart.
Affirmation is “the emotional strengthening of another person through being emotionally receptive and open to the goodness of another person and revealing that you have been affected or moved by them. It is essentially unconditional love and acceptance of another person on the emotional level”.[4] This is precisely the way in which the action of exposition is perfected on the receiving side: the giving of the goodness of oneself back to oneself through the speech of the other. This principle can be exemplified primarily in speech, such as affirming the primordial truths of one’s being.[5] Affirmation is the complete amelioration of a wound; affirmation opens the wound and allows the doctor to heal it. In terms of the unit of the experience of vulnerability, affirmation perfectly discloses how the other should respond to the I exposing their heart. This concept of vulnerability and affirmation is shown most clearly in the biblical texts. God always affirms throughout the Old and New Testament the identity of who one is, a son or daughter of God. Identity is the crux of affirmation; affirmation instills the goodness of one's being through the other affirming the action of vulnerability. It is by genuine affirmation that you can receive the goodness of yourself and give to another.
The journey and exploration into the essence of vulnerability reveals a profound truth. The heart of man will never be what it was made to be without the exposition of the totality of one’s being. Understanding this concept is pivotal for all who desire psychological maturation. What I have found is that in any relationship, there will never be growth without vulnerability; the act of exposing yourself allows you to die to yourself. Dying to yourself is an absolute necessity if you desire to find yourself. Within this exploration, we have seen how the heart of man is the locus of all experience, the distinction between vulnerability as a state and vulnerability as an action, and lastly, the absolute amelioration of man, which is authentic affirmation. It is my aim that this essay has adequately scraped the depths of the essential experience of vulnerability in all its multifaceted instantiations.
[1] The heart of scripture: An empirical study of the word “heart” in the Bible, accessed December 5, 2023, https://www.john-uebersax.com/plato/heart1.htm.
[2] As mentioned, this is not an empirical psychological investigation, and this idea is not linked to Freudian repression.
[3] One can also bury not just that which is base, but one can also tragically bury the gifts that they possess. These buried gifts are what is evoked and seen through affirmation, as will be explained later.
[4] “Affirmation FAQ,” The Baars Institute, accessed December 5, 2023, https://www.baarsinstitute.com/affirmation-faq.
[5] By primordial truths I mean things such as one's dignity, one’s beauty, one’s worth, and primarily one’s identity from God the Father.