Lumen de Lumine

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A Double-Edged Sword

Why do good men suffer? Of all the arguments conjured up to explain this strange phenomenon, many of them still leave us with an eerie gap. This is the gap of mystery, which can only be traversed by faith. Nonetheless, this answer can be quite unsatisfactory. What am I to do with mystery? Suffer in suspense? Or hate the explanation I cannot know in anticipation of its presumed malice? This conclusion could leave people with an unbalanced perception of the universe, one in which “wise men” expound on God and theological doctrines but when met with the harsh reality of inexplicable evils, simply slap the word “mystery” onto it. But this is not the case. We meet mystery at both ends of the cosmos, the good and the bad.

The fundamental distress of suffering is injustice. We cannot seem to see why it is just that good men suffer. Sure, we can imagine some kind of divine compensation on the other end of this life, but nonetheless, this is an explanation which can only be arrived at by faith. What about those who do not have faith? And how could they come to faith from where they stand? It is true, some men turn to God in face of great suffering, but others resent Him (if He exists at all) for such an injustice. Man’s problem is oftentimes that he struggles to appreciate the good so much as he despises the bad. Hence, the positive end of mystery which we seldom wonder at.

Though there are many good mysteries to behold, two seem common to almost every human experience: love and beauty. I want to first address beauty. Regardless of whatever heights neurobiology may reach, beauty will remain a mystery. While such science may be able to tell me why an apple seems more appealing than a cactus, it will not be able to render any sufficient explanation as to why men are drawn to the coast or to high places at the very crest of nightfall so as to watch the sun sink beneath the horizon. Or why the stars, of no use to us at all, call us outside in the midst of the night and bid us lie supine on our backs to stare in awe. And while the man in agonizing pain is prompt to ask the question “Why?” the man beholding beauty is slow to do so, even though the question is just as fitting. For what purpose have I been fashioned in a way so as to find beauty in things of no use to me? And what have I done to deserve such a gift? Mystery.

And what could be said of love? Once again, and even more so, it would be gravely preposterous to attempt to reduce love to biology, sexual drive, or socially induced altruism. Surely, any man who proposes such an explanation has never truly loved at all, never truly sought to understand his being-loved. But still, men will call it evolution, the drive to “survive and reproduce.” Is this the drive that causes a man to die for the childless woman he loves? Survive and reproduce, an embarrassing reduction of love. Am I to believe this is the drive that causes a man to love a barren woman, a woman to love a blind man? How, then, could we explain the many men and women who are still joined by the loving bond of marriage in their nineties? The truth is, love is somehow one of the best things for us, and not about us at all. We love the other for the other, because they are as they are, they are who they are. Anyone who has truly experienced being in love will plainly see this to be true, and if he does not he has never been in love. It is for this reason anyone who has truly seen himself as loved in the eyes of the other feels himself unworthy. “Why?” he might ask. Is this not the same “why” that we ponder in the face of beauty or even in the face of suffering? This is the same “why” which begs what one has done to merit what it is that they have received, and indeed, it is again a mystery. This something for which he is made extends beyond romantic love as well. Who is worthy of the love belonging to true friendship? “We seek multitudes for strength in numbers” the modern fool might say. If this is a friend, I will call on him when I go to war, or down a dark alley. However, I will go to the theater alone, eat alone, live alone, laugh alone. But this would leave a man desolate, depraved of something for which he longs. Man is by nature communal, even when it is completely unnecessary. He seeks to enjoy, and even suffer, life in solidarity. Even suffer. Yes, the very mystery, which we shudder at the thought of, we endure in the face of love, for love. So then, which is greater?

What am I attempting to say? That all men really find more good in this life than bad? No, this would be an illusion. Children still die of cancer, good men still suffer injustice. This is an inescapable reality, but it is not the final word on God and His Goodness. Suffering often leads men to believe that if God exists, He is malicious. And yet, if God is malicious, why would He let men see beauty? Why would He let men know love? It is the sensible conclusion that a God so good as to flood life with beauty, so good as to let men love and be loved, is surely a good God, and such a God would be generous in the way He justifies the suffering of the innocent.

The truth is we do not know the full story of suffering anymore than we fully comprehend the reason for beauty or for love, which we accept with open arms nonetheless. And yet all these, suffering, beauty, and love, come from the same source. And which makes more sense? That an unjust, malicious God would let men see beauty and let men love? Or that a just and benevolent God would temporarily let men suffer, just as a loving father does in disciplining his children, or as we do when subjecting ourselves to suffering temporarily for our own health? Suffering can be justified for good, even if it hasn’t yet been. Beauty and love, however, cannot be made to be evils.

See, then, that the mystery which life provides is a double-edged sword. We ought not shake our fists at painful things that we don’t understand, and yet we can be grateful for the mysterious things that we know are good. Encounter the God of Mystery in the beauty and love for which He has fashioned you. Come to know Him there, and as you come to trust in His good character which you have there discovered, then, encounter Him even in your suffering.